Questions that solve problems

Written by Nina Grunfeld Monday, 17 June 2013 09:48

There are so many questions we can ask, from the simple 'what's up?' to the more difficult to answer 'what can you do to feel better right now?'

Gloomy the other evening, I woke up in the middle of the night, took myself to the slightly cold bathroom so as not to wake up my husband, and just wrote down a stream of questions.

I'd had a row with a friend and started my questions with:
Why do I want to stay friends?

Listen to the stories you tell yourself

Written by Nina Grunfeld Monday, 10 June 2013 08:42

You can tell a story about anything that's going on in your life in so many different ways. When you wake up in the morning your story can be about what kind of a day you’re going to have – is it going to be happy and sunny or dark and sad - and at the end of the day you can create umpteen stories about what kind of a day you had.

We create stories all the time and we alter our stories depending on who we talk to or what our mood is at that moment in time.

At Life Clubs BaseCamp we’re about to have a radically different team in a few weeks time. What are my stories about that?

Depending on my mood, my stories to myself are about being:

Excited - what strengths will we have as a new team?

Nervous - will we be able to be as good as the previous team?

Worried - about how much work lies ahead until we get to know each other

Lucky – that I’ve had such a good team for so long

Happy - I've met some good people to come and work with us

Sad - I'm losing some of my team

It's easy to understand which of those stories are the sunniest ones for me to focus on (excited, lucky and happy), but it doesn't hurt for me to be aware of the other stories either, so long as I don't dwell on them. They can drag me into the past and make me feel dark and insecure. 

You can think of stories about everything. Just be sure to cherry pick the ones that work for you - without denying the rest. You need a bit of dark to balance the light – or vice versa.

My hero, myself

Written by Nina Grunfeld Monday, 03 June 2013 08:38

 I was idling away some time (you now know how I procrastinate) enjoying looking through our 'old' blogposts and came across this relevant one by our former Edinburgh Host, Mark Lister. As I frequently fail to spot famous people, it struck a chord (pardon the pun!)

My hero, myself

I was sharing a leisurely beer in a pub last summer with an old friend who, like me, used to be a musician. There was a guy sitting a couple of tables away who, we thought, looked somehow as if he too was a brother musician. So we asked him. We said, "Excuse us asking, but are you a musician?" "Yeah," he said, "I used to be in the biz." A bit more desultory chat and then we got on with our respective pints. 

Six months later my pal reminded me of this incident. "Do you know who it was?" he asked. "Well, no," I said. Of course. With a lead up like that I perhaps shouldn't have been surprised when he said "It was Ray Davies, front man of the Kinks." Golly. What a hero. And I hadn't even noticed. What a missed opportunity that was.

It got me thinking, what other heroes am I blissfully unaware of? One hero nearly all of us fail routinely to give sufficient acknowledgement to is ourself. Just take a moment and consider - what opportunities would noticing your own brilliance open up? What difference would it make? Think of the other way round - if you don't look at yourself as a unique, talented and important person (and make no mistake about it, you certainly are), isn't it going to be a lot harder to be all you are? 

Procrastination takes time

Written by Nina Grunfeld Friday, 24 May 2013 08:54

Oh my gosh, but do I procrastinate.

I got up especially early this morning to write my blog.

I’d decided to write about one of my bad habits and was going to tell you how hypocritical I feel telling my son to get off the computer when I, his role model and mother, am on it 24/7.

But it’s now an hour later and I’m only just starting to write.

Why…? And why am I writing about procrastination instead of computer addiction?

Because, right now, procrastination feels a worse habit than being on the computer.

What happened?

I’ve already mentioned that I got up especially early.

Then, well, breakfast seemed a nice idea, so I had that.

Right, onto my blog…

But instead I decided to answer a few emails that arrived over night.

And, whilst I was at it, why didn’t I just empty a few more emails from my yesterday’s inbox.

A spreadsheet my colleague, Nick, had created looked tempting. A list of all the meetings I’ve been to in the last six months I just had to start colour-coding it. I love colouring in.

Right, onto my blog…

But, in the spreadsheet I came across the name of someone I’d done some work for but hadn’t heard back from. I decided I’d her what the feedback was.

That meant first looking to see if I’d already asked her. I had, but no reply…

That necessitated a quick phone call to leave her a voice mail.

Right, onto my blog….

But first, let’s quickly check my emails again.

An email had just arrived from my elder son asking me if I was planning on having a swim tonight, so that needed to be answered before I started anything else.

Right, onto my blog…

Looking down at my desk for momentary inspiration and pause, I noticed that the baby-sitter who was here last night had left her diary. Luckily she lives next door…

So that needed an envelope and a trip next door.

… and then my tea needed a top up.

And now, two hours later, I’ve finally written it.

What can I procrastinate about next?